In regards to cleaning up 'her' yard for her, it is my yard too, we still share the house...but you are right, those roles that we both had before now need to be shared.
I talked with my Pastor about the DB idea after church on Sunday. She understood the concept and mostly agreed; but also said that when it involves the kids, she thought it was over the line. As an active father, I will help with the kids; but there are things I can do to make her realize the role I play; for example, when she emails me at lunch and says she can't get the kids, I need to say that I can not either. But if it is a b-day party for one of them, I will help. I can DB in lots of ways, but it won't be by involving the kids.
Yes, I did fight; but one of the issues was that she wanted to see my emmotion, something I have done a damn good job of hiding over the last 2 months. I showed it, but also showed her that I am okay moving on; but prefer to fix the marriage. If there is a chance to fix it, then I want to fix it. If there is no chance at all, then she needs to file.
I agree, I do regret the ultimatum. I regret the argument, somewhat; but even if we file, there is no divorce for 4-5 months. I've said from the begining that my W will need to file to know that she can, before there is any chance of reconsilliation.
I won't file on my own. I should have known better. I let my emmotions control me and convinced myself it was what I now wanted. It isn't. But I am closer to that then I ever have been.
My current approach is to completly withdraw from contact with her unless it involves the kids and see if she reconsideres counseling on Wed. If not; then I need to move forward with planning for what to do next; and initially that will be holiday child placement. That sucks; and I wanted to avoid that; but at this point, I don't think I can.
