Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Rob, yes, I was jaw open speechless when he admitted that! I kept thinking - thats exactly what Jody DB coach told me. That the majority of WAS's dont come back, or end it with OP, because they cant or dont want to have to admit they were wrong or had made a mistake. They feel foolish and cant bear the shame. He really is a textbook case! Except he was SO miserable and Helen was so not suited to him, that he had no choice but to admit he had made a mistake.

Thanks Saffie.. you are right, we talked about not 'papering over the cracks' or sweeping things under the carpet.. but, he doenst start these conversations. I like how you put it..the loss of exclusivity. I told him at the weekend I feel she has taken something or has something thats mine and I guess thats what it is, but that I realise its not her fault.

Feeling a bit low. Another weekend of him being quiet. He said he felt happy/contented, but he didnt look it to me. We still dont ML much. He says it ISNT me, that he DOES find me attractive...funny way of showing it! I know he has depression, but I dont see how we can make it longterm if this is how its going to be. He is still being affectionate and loving, but he was pretty snappy at the weekend, so the honeymoon period is over! I know he is stressed, but I feel its unfair he would snap at me at all, after what I've been through.

I think whats really bothering me is the comment he made about considering me his wife and then raising his eyebrows when I said, but I'm not though..? It doesnt look like he has the gumption or enthusiasm for life right now to talk about the future and make plans, including asking me to marry him. I'm hurt and discouraged by that in truth. We've been friends 14 years in January, together (apart from a gap!) for 11 in February and after all we've been through and the love and commitment I've shown him.. he STILL doesnt want to stand up in front of those who love us and marry me??? And I dont want to ask him to marry me.