All of your actions should be focused on the care of your daughter and your mental and physical well-being. I lost 12 pounds in the drama prior to me discovery the A, that was about 10% of my total body weight. As one of my friends said, "die FOR your wife, not BECAUSE of your wife."
To date I've lost 35 pounds in weight since my W told me we were separating (August 2). Suprisingly, I feel great!
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Do not deny your feelings. You wouldn't be on this website if you were hoping to get a divorce.
I don't want out. I still love my wife deeply however strange that may appear to other people!
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The reason I tell you that is so that you remember to go through the entire grieving process.
I don't think I've grieved completely as yet. Although I have certainly started.
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People's decision-making processes are not as logical when they are desperate or scared. That's how she's in that situation, and how she can't get out of it right now even though I suspect that she wants to.
I don't think my W wants to get out of her situation. As you said she's desperate and scared just now. I think she thinks she loves this guy, as all WAS's do, but my wife, in her emotional and insecure state, has latched onto this guy. I think my only hope is for him to wake up and leave not for her to wake up and kick him out. Even if that does happen, my W hasn't fought for anything during our M so I doubt she will therefore fight for me now.
They could be truly in love and be each others soul mate for all I know.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
