Thanks for the 2X4. I took it in stride and did retreat my 5 spaces.
I've realized I've done a lot of regression into past behavior and I need to find myself again. I need to let this one go, eventhough my old habits don't want to do so.
It isn't any good as it is. I need to go and be me and if I do interact w/her it is in a casual sense only. She has a lot to do before we can look to try something serious again...and so do I.
I do need to work more on me and being free. It is weird for me to be alone, but I need to get out of my comfort space b/c it is an old habit that wasn't healthy and still isn't. I'm glad I'm returning to therapy this week as the focus will be on finding myself again.
In other news...
I played my last softball games for a while tonight and we finished in 4th place, which is impressive for the squad we had and how we were thrown together for the first time this year. Now it is rest the legs for a few days, then get back to exercising normally.
Grace and I had a great weekend and she really enjoyed our annual visit to the state fair. She is also liking the fact that I'm coaching girls basketball and likes going into the gym with me for practice. When I have her, she's going to be the water girl for our games and I'm going to get her a shirt that is in school colors and I'll give her the number of 6 1/2 to match her age.
On the XW front, boyfriend #3 proposed tonight and she said yes. I congratulated her and wished her happiness. Maybe she'll get off my a$$ a bit once she gets married. I can only hope. I'm going to talk w/her about taking my child support payments and putting them directly into a college fund for D once she and BF get married b/c she won't need the extra income. I'm really hoping she'll go for it b/c I'd like to put that money toward her education as opposed to in XW's pocket.
Otherwise, I'm a bit down now, but only b/c I know I should be doing better in regards to myself. I got back into a rut of old habits and need to break out. I'm down b/c of the time I've put in w/gf and it is sad to see the need to break away.
If there will ever be a her and I, it won't happen unless I follow gucci and Gypsy's advice, back way off, get my life in order and let things fall where they may. Gucci's line of "men who are successful w/women don't hang around like you are doing" really sticks w/me.
I hope I'll continue to get more 2X4s from gucci and the rest of you.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could fix our broken selves overnight and just move forward quickly and cleanly?
