Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[cagzmom]

after my talk with c yesterday - he left me to ponder something. it was one thing that he said...... and something that i want to heal.

we were talking about love and such and well that is one part of me that i ahve been unwilling to let go. that is one part of me that i always liked -- when i love i give you all of me.. and what he said surprised me.. he called it "Addictive Love"... and he said that it is very normal with co-dependent people..

he talked about loving healthy.. holding a part of yourself.. a part of your heart... it is something I can not even fathom... yet i have watched people. people whom i respect and whos marrriages have worked and you know what... i think that is how they do it... but again foreign to me and HARD for me because i ahve changed so very very much.

I can say I like me now -
I can tell you what I like to eat, colors I like - lots of stuff.

BUT this?? this was part of me that i knew and liked -- and the only way taht I have known love - and both times it has ended in a way with me being crushed.... so obviously well it didn't work otu to well. BUT what i am saying is I am SURE that this is something that GOD wants to heal in me... I just don't know how He will do it.

So YET ANOTHER NEW journey begins.. deeper levels of knowing me - and understanding just what God WANTS FOR my life. hmmm