Smiley...you've been through the ringer. Nope, you're not supposed to, nor should you have to, read minds. You've been insightful, introspective, objective, and every other kind of cognitive state possible over the months. Regardless of the negative things you did to contribute to the deterioration of your marriage over the years...since she dropped 'the bomb' on you...you have done everything possible to save your relationship with her, and to save the family from being torn apart. You have worked as hard as a person could, in every way, to keep this from happening. I hope you continue to get stronger and better with each passing day.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.