WAW and 4 kids

[Deep]

Trying, I think you've been working at your M now and going through many ups and downs ... feel for you.

I think it may be a combination of many things that's eating at your resolve now. W's continued waywardness and disrespect among other things.

I know, and you do too I'm sure, that there ain't much you can do about her choices and how and when (if) she chooses to wake up. As you mentioned, there may have been some small signs, but not anything compelling to you. It just takes time bro, and when it comes, it could be a sudden, if pleasant surprise. You can't live your life planning for this, and I guess I'm just posting this as I know some of the crap you must be feeling now.