Here's a point to your questions: somehow, by the end I managed to bring up her drinking (she had a drink in hand), and she came out and said that she had been open with our MC about it, and was trying to cut back. sigh. We are currently meeting with MC individually.
What was the MC's response to her "cut back" remark? Does the MC know what you've told about her years of secret drinking? I don't think you will have a healthy or happy marriage until she deals with her drinking issues. I also don't think that is a healthy environment for your kids either. If she is not willing to address her issues, have you thought about dealing with this yourself?
I meet with the MC tomorrow, but I don't think she'll discuss what my wife said or did not say. Right now my wife feels empowered and "alive like never before". I don't think she'll consider a more serious course. I myself don't drink at all. Maybe a glass of wine once every 3-6 months. This has been building, and I still feel ashamed that I've not been paying attention to this. I clearly have fault here.
It not that I'm trying to hold back information, there's just so much to tell. W has also been struggling with bi-polar most of her life. She uses the drinking to self-medicate. The same time she revealed the hiding of the drinking, she revealed that she had stopped her medication 6 months ago. She's always resisted any consistent treatment for anything. Our agreement was that we would discuss any changes in medication, and I've avoided pushing her on discussing trying to avoid provocation. But maybe this is a cop-out and I just got tired. I do feel neglectful.
Overall, the depth of her drinking has been pretty well hidden from me until two years ago. It got pretty bad, and I and D17 (15 then) confronted her and she appeared to make a big change. I now know that the change was to conceal it.
I'm sure I'm giving a confusing story here, I'm just not really sure how to sort it all out. I posted something over in WAW as well hoping to get some input there.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
