what makes you think either of those is a mistake? It all depends on how you handle it, and how he reacts to it. If it brings him closer, then it is the right thing to do. If it doesn't, then you may want to reconsider. There are R talks and R talks. If you were pursuing, then it likely wasn't helpful to you. If he initiated, or if you both gained some understanding of each other, then it probably was a step toward bringing you closer together.
