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what makes you think either of those is a mistake? It all depends on how you handle it, and how he reacts to it. If it brings him closer, then it is the right thing to do. If it doesn't, then you may want to reconsider. There are R talks and R talks. If you were pursuing, then it likely wasn't helpful to you. If he initiated, or if you both gained some understanding of each other, then it probably was a step toward bringing you closer together.

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I think that is what I meant to say is don't pursue him. But also don't give him his cake and let him eat it to. If he wants nothing to do with you again after, you know that is exactly what you did. However, if the talks were productive and he is showing more affection towards you, maybe not a bad thing.

Kevin


Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...
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Actually, it wasn't his idea. It was mine. I'm a pretty sexual person, and I haven't had any in 3 weeks. Egads! As far as that goes, it was just sex, nothing more.

The R talk came up because I reminded him to be over to spend the night with the kids. He said "at least one of us is moving on quickly". That turned into R talk because I asked why he said it. He then said...he was glad and wanted me to have fun. I messed up and said he was the one who wanted out, and if I had my way, he'd be right back in the house.

I shouldn't have said that, and I need to not ML with him again.

Strength! LOL

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Oops, I left out his response...he said you know how I am, when I say I'm done, I'm done.

It was a little stab in the heart, but I said nothing.

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Oooookay...D8 called H and asked him if he was coming to Thanksgiving at my parents. He told her yes.

Should I leave?! My friend invited me to come over, should I?

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It's YOUR parents' house, so I would think that everyone would expect you to be there. If you don't want to be with him, uninvite him. You have more power than your daughter. Or you should.

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SG,
Originally Posted By: Sad Girl
and I haven't had any in 3 weeks.
Three weeks? Most of us on this forum should be so lucky! wink

Can anyone say "ten months"? eek cry shocked crazy mad


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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Originally Posted By: Lotus
It's YOUR parents' house, so I would think that everyone would expect you to be there. If you don't want to be with him, uninvite him. You have more power than your daughter. Or you should.


It won't bother me to have him there, but I assumed it would make him feel uncomfortable if I was there. D8 later told me she invited him on the campout this weekend and he said yes.

Are you saying it would be best to uninvite him? I don't want to disappoint D8 anymore than she has been, but I don't know what the two of us would do for an entire weekend in the wilderness together either.

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Originally Posted By: Gardener
SG,
Originally Posted By: Sad Girl
and I haven't had any in 3 weeks.
Three weeks? Most of us on this forum should be so lucky! wink

Can anyone say "ten months"? eek cry shocked crazy mad


I shouldn't complain. I gotta get a grip on that one aspect of detaching. It will be my hardest obstacle to overcome.

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Ten months?! You are just getting started! Try 58 months....

But I'm not complaining....

Much.....

smile

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