Longtime coming...

[Awoken]

Thanks SillyOldBear; It's been two weeks, and so much has happened that I don't know whats relevant. I kinda started at the beginning.
I'm having a hard time DB'ing and deciding that just reading the posts here wasn't enough.

Right now, I'm pretty sure that my W is determined to leave, but doesn't want to file divorce yet for a couple of reasons.

First, a couple of days after the bomb, she confronted me again about being worried about me spying. Most of the time was spent with me listening to her, and telling her that I had a new understanding of my failures. She was basically tearing me apart, saying the past 16 years had been a living hell, and I was telling her that I would cooperate with her, but I was willing to work on the M. Specifically because even if it ended in D, we would still be better off in the long run, and we would still have a relationship because of the kids no matter what. Of course, I desperately want her to stay, and she probably can feel that. but I was doing my DB best.
Here's the worst part, it went on until 4am. D16 (now D17 today) had snuck downstairs and hid behind the door and listened to a least an hour of it. In the morning she told W she was mad at her because "she didn't want to try".

Second, she's now suggested that I move out and get an apartment. I've refused. I told her I would be happy to help her find one for herself and help her move. She was non-responsive. sigh.

Third, she provides our health care at her work. It's cheaper for the family than what is provided at mine. It's time for us to pick a new provider, and she's suggesting that I get my own.