Not a problem. I totally understand. I hope you feel better soon.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Well, let's see. I have started keeping a spiral with a log of all of the texts, phone calls etc. I am getting in the middle of the night and during work, so that I can have proof if I need it some day of his constant drama.
My son has started to grumble about going to his dad's. He sees the crazy loud and clear and doesn't like it. This is with NO influence from me. He didn't like having to go two weekends in a row. They will be gone with him a lot the next couple of months due to the holiday schedules and all that.
It's funny how even a 9yo can see straight through the bs.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Hey Grace! Yeah, kids are very smart, girl I know I work with them all day and they are very intuitive!! And my S is exceptionally smart, not your average 9yo.
Holidays-- Let's see, Thanksgiving they will be with me Wed, their dad and I are going to split the actual day b/c his fam does early in the day and mine does later, so that's what the kids are used to. Then they go with him Fri, Sat, and Sun. I have plans with a friend while they are gone that I'm looking forward to.
Christmas I will have them the first half and he has them the second half of break. I'm letting him have them Christmas Eve cuz that's when his fam does their thing. I'll have them Christmas day then they go with him the next day.
I have plans with my friend when they leave and some fun stuff planned for New Years... so I should be okay.
I will still worry about them while they're with him though, cuz I know they don't like being away from me that long AND I know he is very emotionally unstable. I just try to stay busy and keep my mind off of stuff.
I just have the fear that he tries to hurt me through them, which he has done recently (by playing games like turning off my son's cell phone and being unreachable, saying stuff to my D that is derrogatory, etc.) I just really don't know what is in his head. You know, you can't DO anything unless they physically harm them, which is Bull Sh*t, and if he does ever physically hurt them he better hope the cops get to him before I do. Anyway, that's just one part of this system that sucks... and I'm doing my best to deal with it.
Sometimes I find myself saying why can't I have a SANE ex... lol... then I go, oh yeah, that's why we're divorced....
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
And you know what else is funny? Ex keeps threatening me with the fact that S can choose to live with him when he turns 12 or 13 or whatever.... He doesn't even have a clue what that kid thinks of him, he has been so oblivious in his little fantasy world. It is sad.
Last edited by SoCo; 11/08/0907:01 PM.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
My kids are beginning to despise being around ex's drama. He is never happy, always complaining, always negative. They are seeing through his plastic self and seeing the real him.
Funny I was thinking the other day, ex's nick name in high school was "Mr Plastic". I guess I should have paid attention.
I thought he had changed....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Mr. Plastic!! omg... fitting, blank, hard, and without soul...Yeah, who knows about change or always been like this and just hiding it or what. I think they have always been broken and were just able to mask it.
One of my friends told me the other day that when she looks at J he just "doesn't look right". So true. It's the dead eyes.
Oh, I forgot to add that he has been stalking me on FB by trying to befriend my friends under a fake name... sheesh! My bff of 7 years called me yesterday and was telling me about it...
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Glad to hear you will be taking care of yourself over the holidays. I am beyond fortunate that I have never had to "split time". I gather lots of ideas from those that do, so when it's my turn...I'll have lots to fall back on.
It's so sad that he dosn't get he's really hurting the kids with his attempts to hurt you. Someitmes there is no coming back from that. I have an aquantiance that hasn't spoken to his mom in over 40 years behind that kind of thing. He isn't bitter or angry, just not intersted in any kind of R with her.
I hope that's not the case for your kids.
I'm starting to think about New Years eve and come up with a plan. I'm looking for somehting different. I'm sure I can make it a good one.
Oh yeah and the cyber stalking totally creeps me out. I already feel like I live like a prisoner constantly looking over my shoulder and checking the door locks. Now on FB too??? I need a break.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
