Just a friendly suggestion I hope does not come across as preachy but from a place of concern and understanding. If you are feeling anxiety (which is normal in these type of life altering situations) that is beyond the expected anxiety one might feel, PLEASE see a dr and counselor.
I only gently urge you to do this because after 21 months of nonsense from my WAS my anxiety was so deep I could no longer function, leave my house or even operate as a normal human being. I *thought* I was doing a good job hiding it and I was coping with my anxiety I was just doing so in a very unhealthy way. Eventually it got so bad I was hospitalized and diagnosed with a situational panic disorder.
Meds are not "magic pills" but they do help remove the physical burdens of anxiety so YOU can do the emotional work without feeling like your heart is going to blow out of your chest from anxiety.
I was terrified after being in the hospital and going to the psych for the 1st time had me shaking in my boots. When I walked in the office the first thing I noticed was a HUGE sign that read "if you walked in this door for help you are strong".
It is not easy to take that first step and in my case I didn't. My mother had watched me decline to such a state she showed up at my house and gave me 2 options.... (A) she would take me to my dr. at once or (B) she would be taking me to the hospital. I did not fight her, I knew she was right.
