I’m new here so I’m no position to offer advice. I sympathize with you on a number of levels.
Like you, I struggle with guilt for not having been a better spouse. I love my W’s family. The holidays are coming and it’s terribly awkward.
And like you, there are days when I feel like throwing in the towel because it looks hopeless.
The fact that his family loves you may work in your favor. He knows divorcing you will disappoint them and most of us don’t like to disappoint family. This may not stop him from filing for divorce but it may slow him down. That will give the both of you time, and time is your friend. That’s what I’m hoping for in my sitch.
Hang in there.
H: 50 W: 48 Married 20 years Bomb and separation: 9/12/09 A discovered 12/02/09 http://tinyurl.com/yctnhec
