In shock...

[praying_in_GA]

Ok, so I was angry this morning. The kids woke me up at 6:30. We have a concert to take them to at 1:30 this afternoon. I am not sleeping well between two little ones and I have a strained muscle in my neck because of it. I was pissed that he gets to sleep in and do what he wants while I take care of the kids. I called and woke him up. Damn me. He said it was good to hear the old Rikki back (angry) and that the sweetness I have been trying to show the last two weeks has all been fake. He said I had chances to turn this around and choose not to. The reason he fell in love with me in the first place was because I was sweet and showed him attention/affection. If I start doing that he said he will see it as fake and not believe it.

I am not getting enough sleep. In fact, three days a week I only sleep 2 hours in a 24 hour period because of work. I am constantly cleaning or cooking. He gets to sleep when he wants, go do what he wants, and not have to run behind two kids all the time.

I feel so hopeless right now. I have read several responses to people on here. How is this supposed to work for me when his complaints are not as much affection/sweetness? How is moving on and cutting as much contact going to 'get him back'? He told me to start dating other people, why would he care if I am being secretive about my plans? It would probably make him happy to think I am letting him go.