Well, welcome to the best place you never wanted to be! You will find good people here, and a lot of encouragement, no matter what direction your situation goes.
I think the fact that you are here says you aren't quite ready to give up. You don't have to decide anything right now.
Start by just getting your feet under yourself. Keep breathing.
You aren't going to be trying to force anything, you'll see that as you read DR. What you are going to do is take care of yourself, and make sure that you are the best Rikki you can be for yourself, and for your kids.
For now, try not to get caught up in talks about your relationship, or your future together.
