Thanks Bunny, but I am okay with this. There is nothing left, I looked right into her eyes and saw nothing. I can't blame her, and I am sorry; but I am not going to continue to be a doormat
This is what she wants, and after today, I honestly can't say it isn't the best solution.
I've GALed a lot and realize that maybe she is right; we just weren't right together. Life will go on and I will be okay, and so will she. I don't want this to be messy; but I need some clarity in my life and she does too.
Two months isn't a long time, compared to many here; and honestly, I have made good progress myself since this whole thing started; but she has not. She's not willing to do anything to accept her own faults. Her poor self-esteeme is "all my fault" Sorry, it isn't.
I did love her, I really wanted to fix it; but it just isn't there and it isn't even stagnating anymore...it simply continues to spiral down. DBing worked a little, and over the last month, I have been very good about not breaking the rules. I still haven't; but she said she won't go to counseling and she treats me like dirt. I've learned that I am a good person and I won't be treated like that. Is that unfair, considering how I treated her...you bet! But two wrongs don't make a right and I feel like, at this point, there is nothing left to save.
I'll keep posting; I suspect I will have some rough days in the next week; but I really think this is the final outcome and I just can't continue to be put down, told how wrong I am, how everything is my fault...and still be expected to pay bills, fix things around the house and carry more than my fair share of the workload when it comes to the houses.
