I would not have felt bad for my boys. I wouldn't have allowed that, I would have built and was in process of building the best life I could provide for them. Feeling bad for them, meant I would have let them feel bad for themselves, and I see that leading to a life of excuses.
First things first, you wouldnt have let your boys see you feel bad for them, but you would have. Sometimes the all mighty Oz makes statements based on how they would like to believe they would have acted, reality is a very different thing. Not trying to piss on your fire here pirate, just pointing out that sometimes we speak of which we don't know and it comes off as demeaning.
Frank, I get you. I understand completely how you felt that day and it is completely normal. Having completed this process recently and speaking from actual experience it is a very sad day. Even if you recognize that it is what is best, it is the ending of a vow you believe you made for life, in my opinion its perfectly fine to feel that for a day or so. Just do it in private and don't let your feelings impact your kids.
Now, the other part of this.
You were the bread winner in your family. Your $60k tax debt was your responsibility. How long would she have to earn $2k a month to incur that kind of debt. You argue over things and it will come back to haunt you.
California enforces alimony. California enforces community property. The costs that you could be looking at are astronomical. I guarantee the only reason you are getting out this cheap is because the attorney that she has consulted with has assured her that your taking on the IRS debt is a reasonable offset to alimony payments for the 4 years. She uses the house as an excuse because a lawyer advised her to.
It sucks, and it is bullshitt, and in the state of California a man is dog meat. So you deal with it and press on. The child support set between Carrie and I by the way is $390 a month. IN Memphis, TN. you are coming out just fine on this deal.
Before you come back at me wondering about why I say she has consulted an attorney. It just sounds like it from what she is arguing over, from her previous actions I don't believe she would have the fortitude on her own to stand up and fight.
