..so he told me that he realised very early on in their R that it wasnt right with Helen, but he DIDNT WANT TO HAVE TO ADMIT HE WAS WRONG, ot he couldnt admit he had got it wrong.. so stayed with her (for 8 months!). He said, yuo know how I hate to be in the wrong and look foolish. He said, he was being weak at that time and not rational and a "yes man". Once he had embarked on it, it was already too late and he admitted he did find her attractive and they flirted or "had some laughs", but only last summer, not before. Since he volunteered more details, I feel a little depressed about it. Its just hard to imagine, him being intimate with another woman, but like Jack3B says, it IS an R, even if its not a lasting one.
I was also right about a couple of things.. she WAS in a long term R, of a few years. I asked him if she broke up with that guy to be with him and he admitted, yes, I guess. Her bf wanted to move in with her, but she said no because it "freaked her out". She must have really loved my bf because she was trying to get him to move into a house she was buying. He again defended her, saying, I know what others thought of her and said, but she was a nice person, not a bad person and it wasnt her fault, it just wasnt right with her, she wasnt you.. I said I felt sorry for her, for losing him. He agreed, he felt sorry for her too, but because "she got caught up in a car crash 2 years of my life" and that wasnt fair on her.
He also said that last summer (when he had me on a plate and could've come back) that he DID find me attractive.. and that she wasnt AS attractive as me. I asked if he was more intelligent, he snorted, No! More fun? Again, no. Funnier? Definetly not!! So.. why did you choose her other me !? He said, are you asking me to answer how come I didnt make good, rational decisions at that time?? He was unable to. He also said again, it was new, different, that he wanted our breakup to make sense.
K.. if you are reading this, people (especially men, ha!) can act in the most perverse ways. I wouldnt assume ow was a great love as you put it. Helen certainly wasnt and he risked losing me for her.
