[/quote]It's not supporting her to let her have the OM. She wants a man that is stronge enough and secure enough to stand up to her. She sees you as weak and insecure and she doesn't feel the security she needs. Have you really set an boundary that you won't share her with another man??????? Are you really doing whatever it takes? You are wallowing in limboland and there is only one way out. You must lead your family.[quote]
OUCH.
You have certainly got me thinking. I will take a little time to digest what you say. It would feel so 'final' to tell her no contact. She would not go down the no-contact route. At the moment it would be a futile boundary as she would not try to make it happen. Why ask for something that will not happen. Why not wait until the time is right and she may do the 'no contact', there would be more chance of it happening. It also seems to be a 'one use' tactic/boundary. You cant ask for it twice.
No I have not set the boundary of her being with OM. As I said before, it is an R of convenience, college/car/place to sleep/open ear, ect.
I don't feel like I am wallowing - but there again I am in the middle. It is always calm in the eye of a storm, but to an outsider.. I agree that I must forge the path out.
Today I told her I am not happy with the hugs when she leaves. I told her I find it confusing and gives me the wrong signals. She didn't look happy and pulled a few faces. But this is how I feel. And it is what I want.
Regards, Gyn.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
