I know what an emotional drain your sitch is. I think it's most healthy to have as much distance as possible from X. To have them so present makes it much more difficult to really heal. Of course when you have kids and visitation and such, there needs to be contact, but aside from that.... it just makes everything worse.
Because my step-dad, and brother both work for my STBXH, I too have had a tough time. I hear about him way too much....I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to actually see your X virtually every day! And then to have him be a jacka** on top of it.......
Anyway, hang in there, sweetie!!!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
XH came to work yeserday with sparkles on his face seemed shaky and moving slow as if he was out partying night before I asked him to leave work told him our business cant take his inconsistancies, and I didntr want him working here anymore any other job would have fired his a$$ a long time ago he gave me the office keys and left havent heard from him since he is probably on a binge I hope he is ok so im a little nervous, but I have to save the business I have too much at stake he is using prescription drugs and one never knows when he will be able to work so thinhs will be chanfing again and xh may leave town it reminded me of the part in the Jim Conway book when he said he just wanted to leave town and go south I felt I have done everything to try to work this out with XH he is impossible to work with because one day he is ok, next day he leaves work without doing important stuff and he looses accounts
on another note my freind is leaving her H I have listened to her talk for many weeks she is calling me for support she sounds like many WAS here but I can hear what she says b/c I am not emotionally involved she is leaving Him no matter what the D was already done in her mind at the moment she decided to go there will be no working anything out in this one she has OM..im not sure if she is MLC but her M has been difficult for a while so ya wonder is this real or does a person just want out? dont know peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
You were right in protecting the business. Nothing you say or do will help your ex until he decides to save himself. We have to protect ourselves and children.
I too am watching a girl at work do the same thing to her husband. "She is not happy". 20 year marriage, there is another much younger man. I tell her that it is important to keep committments and god hates divorce. Nothing really registers though. She keeps self-destructing. It is like the path to hell.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
You did absolutely the right thing-- you can't afford to let your business go down the toilet. Good for you!
I know you are worried about him. If he needs to hit bottom, maybe this will propel him there sooner. Although he does seem to have an awfully deep bottom.
It must be hard to have to share business with xh and see him like that. I think you did the responsible thing. Has he been seeing the kids?
His using prescription drugs is undoubtedly due to his depression and his inability to deal with his guilt. My H has to drink and take something every night to sleep, causing him to often not show up for work (his own company). Luckily he has good people working for him and he's somehow able to stay on top of things. But I wonder how long the drinking and sleep aids will work for him before he begins abusing prescription drugs as well. Knowing my H, the time he spends alone with his thoughts are too painful for him to deal with, so he needs to numb the pain.
Hope your x hasn't done any irreversible damage to the company. Maybe him being forced to leave will turn out to be a good thing - one of the many events that will lead to him eventually hitting bottom. But doesn't sound like that will happen any time soon. Keep living your life like you've been doing. Hang in there.
HI well things are quiet xh has not worked now for a week since I asked him to leave work and Not return b/c he was high xh has not seen kids for 2 weeks he called the office friday acting like nothing happened and he said he was working I said remember I asked you to leave and NOT return to work unless you get help he called several times friday trying different angles to see if I would let it all go but I am serious I know I cant work with him and the business cant take his abuse so I dont know what will happen this week when NO check is there for the MLCer peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
No word from x he has not returned calls from kids kids have not seen him for a few weeks now maybe 3 xh seems to think that he can take it out on the kids and get to me by never seeing them b/c I fired him I am coming to terms with it I am learning how to take care of the business totally wiothout him I am very clear--I dont want him there anymore I think he will walk away and if not I have legal rights I feel bad that my kids stand in the middle possibly loosing their dad totally but they really only had a fraction of the man as he isr really an addict now so until the alcoholic/addict gets real help wherther in MLC or not they are of no use to anyone we have to move on and through the gracr of God I feel I am starting to peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I am sorry peace, that stinks. Mine too withdraws from the kids as some type of messed up "punishment" for me whenever he gets upset with me. Funny how messed up their priorities are. You can really tell who they care about,themselves only and whatever they "think" they want.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
And then to have him be a jacka** on top of it.......