I think there is a lot of wisdom in Wifey's post...


Of course, with human beings and their relationships there is a need for communication. Just ignoring a behavior you refuse to accept is not enough.


I wonder sometimes if part of the problem here in what we all expect from your husband is a cultural difference. I know that my perception of european men is that they are much more "old school" in their ways of dealing with emotional issues. Perhaps that is a misconception on my part, but I do wonder about it.


I do believe that Jack is on the mark regarding grieving the relationship that has ended, as painful as that is for those in our position. And I do resonate to some extent with his desire to have "her" not be a part of your conversations, because for this man at least (meaning me) it is hard to continuously revisit the things I have done to hurt my spouse.

That being said, I give him no quarter when it comes to acknowledging your needs and the needs of the relationship. As I told quite some time ago, I honestly believe that every man KNOWS the kinds of things their spouse needs to hear and see the most. We all have it within us to do those things, but they certainly require effort and in many cases a change in how we do things.


His words to you last night are unfortunate, because they do not sound like the words of a man who is dead set on rebuilding an intimate relationship with the woman he loves most in the world.



None of us want to be with someone who "sort of" wants to be with us. We all want to think that our spouse would move mountains to show their love to us. I'm not sure where that is in him.


I do hope that you will forgo any permanent decisions until you begin to see significant signs that he is at least moving in that direction.


Blessings,

Bill

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."