Sorry you've been down a bit. Hope the retreat helps you to get in touch with that still, small, wise voice inside of you ("inner Gardener") that knows your heart's desire. Painting and renovating can make one nutty under the BEST of circumstances. It's understandable that you would have all of these feelings given your situation. Frankly, I'm pretty annoyed with Mrs. Gardener for not pitching in since this is HER idea.
