First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

Hey guys. Back from sunny WARM Florida. What a shock to the system to be sitting next to a lake, drinking a margarita, in 82 deg weather at 1 pm and next thing you know, 5 hours later, get off a plane in Ohio and it's 42 degrees.

Week went very well. Had a couple hiccups, one totally me, the other, both of us. But the nice thing is we talked through both hiccups and I think we're even closer. Hey WDID, this talking thing is pretty cool

My hiccup was a total trigger from the time W and I were at Disney and she was running off to call/text OM. We were getting ready to leave one of the parks and W said she wanted to have a smoke prior to leaving and said "I think there's a smokers area right over here". And man, it hit me hard as that's where she ran off to to call OM a couple years ago and all the emotions came flooding back.

She asked me what was wrong and I told her it was just a bad memory from a couple years ago and she said she understood. She asked what caused it and I told her and she looked at me with pained eyes and said "sorry". I told her I'd get through it, but her telling me she was sorry really helps as it shows me she gets it.

Our hiccup together was related to sex. I wanted to and she was tired and didn't want to. And she said "I just don't feel sexy right now". So we went to sleep and in the morning we laid in bed talking about it.

I asked her if she ever feels sexy now (don't jump to conclusions, she's just said that to me a couple times lately and I was going somewhere with the question). W said "sometimes, but mostly when I'm not thinking about stuff". I then said "this is going to sound totally arrogant, but have you forgiven yourself?" She looked at me and said "I mostly have, but when we talk about it, it reminds me and I don't feel like I have". She then said "Maybe deep in my mind I haven't".

I said, "I don't want this to sound condescending, but I forgave you a while ago, I think its time you let it go and forgive yourself. I'm here if you want to talk about anything". She looked at me and with some tears in her eyes said "ok". It was quiet for a few seconds and I asked her if she was glad I was such a bullhead and didn't quit on us? "Yes". "Are you happy with the way things turned out?" "yes".

I told her that's all I needed to hear. That I'd almost lost her once and I was going to do whatever I could to make sure it didn't happen again. W replied "I will too. We'll work on it."

Other than that, we had a great time. And I kind of feel like that was a pretty good thing too. A little painful, but good.

Oh yeah, one other good thing. EGF is leaving the company soon. Like, maybe already gone. If not yet, very soon. Although I don't think she's much of an issue anymore. Call me selfish, but it will be good to not hear her name anymore. Just too many triggers and bad feelings every time W mentions her.

I'll try to get around to others threads, but have a lot to do this weekend.

Talk to ya all later.