That was funny Kerry, I just remembered that movie...
So, I talked to stbxh last night. And while I was doing it, although I may have done some mistakes in expressing a few things, in general I think I was sensitive and careful.
The discussion ended with him saying "You are asking me to be someone else. This is me and I cant be any different". He said he cant be affectionate, tender, sweet talk to me, "it's not his style". When I said he has been all that with me, he said it was years ago. When I said he was all that with her, he said their R was new. He said, for him, it is enough to feel love for me, he thinks making me feel he loves me, is not something he can do. I cant believe, someone you love tells you they dont feel any emotion from you, someone you hurt offers ways for you to make it up to them, and you refuse to give anything else that what you feel comfortable with.
He said to start over is a theoritical thing. He wants that we just continue our R. I asked him to continue our R and pick up from? 2005, 2006, 2007?
I told him, although it would have been possible to save this, I refuse to save it for a few years, ignoring my needs and living on minimums. He apsolutely offerened no compromise,"he is the way he is". All that said in a nice way, he did say he loves me (not I love you but of "course there is love").
stbxH is stuborn and refuses change. And I cant live with what he offers. I am holding on to myself. Not bending. Not out of pride or egoism. Out of need of "survival". Any suggestions welcome. K
