New, my story

[Inaspin]

Hi , MC is only on Monday, so will def let you know how it goes.

Had an up and down week, not much change in W, but did manage not to get caught up in anything and did not backslide at all. really started detaching from Wednesday, and yesterday noticed a few responses from W.

1. she was very quick to ask me "what is wrong" yesterday morning, As I was not very chatty and only responded when she talked. I responded calmly nothing was wrong and would go downstairs and do my own thing. She has not shown any interest in how I was feeling for the last month, so this was a change.

2. It was her Grand Father's Funeral yesterday. Se was still very distant @ the funeral, and I tried to only show compassion and sympathy for her, although she did not look like she wanted it so I backed off. When we got back to her parents place for the reception, she again asked me what was wrong, I told her nothing and that I was just feeling emotional after the whole day, she then walked off in a huff. I went and sat with Family members and chatted, she came and sat on the arm of the chair I was sitting on and pushed up against me, she would brush my arm and then move her hand away, I did not stop her but I did not responded as I would have a week ago by trying to hold hands or anything. After that she was very friendly and chatty.

3. She then went to her kinesiologest @ 4pm for a "balance"! I then realised she was probably being nice etc. because she was feeling bad about going to him again. She phoned me before and after the appointment, she had not phoned me the whole week before that. I picked my son up from daycare and went and hit some golf balls with him at the driving range. When she got home she was a little more distant again, witch show's me this guy is definitely affecting our relationship. When we went to bed she said I love you and gave me a peck (can't call it a kiss) first time in a while.

So what I have already picked up in a short time is that detaching has definitely had an impact, very small steps, but I have noticed the change.

The funny thing is that this week I started to look at things a little differently. I still really want my marriage to work and will do what ever I can, but I will not be a doormat. I am a big part of why my marriage is the way it is, but so is she and this situation is her choice. I know that I do not deserve to be treated the way she is currently treating me, but by not reacting, showing unhappiness etc, I am taking away the power trip she has been on the last month, and starting to see that she is not as confident and in control as she thinks she is.

I am still anxious, feeling down etc, but the fear is slowly starting to leave me. I am beginning to accept my situation, and realize that stressing, worrying etc. will not change it. I have a plan of action now, and will try to deal with situations only as they arise, good or bad.