Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

Robx, you bring tears to my eyes because I know you're are dead right. My pain is just over taking me to a whole new level that I can't seem to handle. I understand that people on here don't complain as much as me, and honestly it sucks. Why do I have to be so weak? I have been through this before. My mom left my dad when I was 17, and I had to take on a new role in life. Mother. I had to help raise my two little sisters while my dad picked up two more jobs to support us. I've been through a divorce, and I felt like while going through it and getting through it I accomplished a new character in myself. I felt strong. I felt like I could do anything. I was a teenager starting to date, and mother of two, and a wife cooking my father and siblings meals everyday. I remember the feeling of strength that I had and my sisters tell me to this day that they look up to me for getting us all through that. My dad still tells me I was his rock. He never would have survived had it not been for me. And now that I'm going through it myself I've lost the old me. Now my sisters are my rocks. They are the ones here every day in and out keeping me company and making sure me and my boys are okay. I want to find that 17 year old girl in me and bring her out. I look up to her as well. When I look at myself now, I'm disappointed. I don't like the way I am right now. My mind feels like its going to explode. I feel much further along in my process than I was 5 weeks ago, but no where near where I should be. Like you said there is people on here for months and years. Sometimes people think "its never going to happen to me" And I truly believed that. H knew my whole family history and often reassured me he would never put me in that situation again, and he would never hurt me like my mom hurt my dad. I trusted him and broke my trust. And now I lonely and hurt and destroyed. I'm trying so hard. You have to believe me. I look on here and read your replies to my comments, and it hurts so bad because its all true. And it makes sense. So thanks again. You open my eyes everyday.