Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

Just another vent session of my day today:

Today I called him to discuss babysitting issues for the big banquet tomorrow night and he was so cold to me. Didn't really care to talk to me, he was just different than he's been lately. And he was pretty much shooing me off the phone. I've been the one to end our conversations lately and now he's doing the same to me!

You might want to read robx's post, then re-read what you just wrote.

Why did you call him to discuss babysitting issues? As in, one of you is going to be watching the kids for the other, or you are getting a third person to watch the kids for both of you?

If you really wanted to just bring S3 to see his dad play hockey, you should have just done it, and then left after the game was over. But no, you needed to let him know that you were bringing the kid. Why? You could have told him after the fact that you saw the game. He might've gotten a thrill to look up and see the two of you watching the game unannounced.

You have way too much contact with him, for someone who is living outside of your home, and not just for kid-related essential conversations. You are interacting with him on a daily basis; there's no room for detaching, or going dark, or GALing in there. I'm reminded of a T-shirt I saw once: "How can I miss you if you won't go away?"

So there would be a good 180 to try -- try to go the rest of the weekend with as little contact as possible with him. Don't use the kids as an excuse; if he picks them up, tell him to have a good time and leave them be. If he drops them off, thank him and go find someplace else to be.