I just wanted to make sure she knew the door was always open for her but it's time for her to face up to her responsibilities and the consequences of her actions.
She may not understand exactly what those responsibilities are regarding your D. I think I would be somewhat confused if it were me. (BTW, I have read all your posts from the beginning.) But one time you talk as if you want your W & D to have a strong R and then another time you say you don't trust your W without supervised visits. You don't have to explain those details....but just pointing that out.
I do not agree with your idea of making sure that she always knows the door is open to her. That is the same thing as telling her that you will always be available to her, and that she will always be a part of your life (future) and that she can live like she wants to...then when she has had enough...you'll still be waiting for her. That is not the message she needs to be receiving! She needs to believe that she has "lost" her place in your life and in that house that once was her home. She needs to see you moving on with a life without her.
She is certainly moving on with a life apart from you. How can you pass her house each day and see OM's car there--and still say that you want to make sure she knows the door will still be open? And if the door is always open, then what are the consequences of her actions?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
