I can't speak for Coach, but I suspect he means I stopped reacting to the sitch and stopped being stagnant in limboland and took the initiative to lead by bringing up talks with my W. Not R talks, but talks about HER feelings and talks about how I could not live in limboland anymore.
That said, if you are dealing with a WAS who has one foot out the door, I think your first priority is getting the WAS to slow down. That's where acting "as if," GAL'ing and focusing on you come in. I think those are things that get you, and the WAS, to a place where the types of conversations I described can take place. Having those conversations too early would not be good.
My W knew I wanted MC from the day of the bomb. But after initially bringing it up, I did not bring it up until 6 months of DB'ing had passed (5 really).
I don't know that MC will help us. I just know (a) it is a change in W's position and (b) it MIGHT help.
