WAW and the husband that wants her back.

[TrentC]

Thanks so much for your input.

Point of clarification. My W already lives in her own place and i do as well. So i cant' really kick her out.

Then go completely black, except for interactions regarding the kid. Don't return other phone calls or messages until later, make sure you have plans (except when you don't want to), etc.

I do not want to go to war with her. I want to be so UNLIKE my father. I want to do whats right. She is friendly with me and confides in me still. I do have the feeling she wants to find out for herself that she can or can't do better.

And you're okay with being comparison shopped?

The fact is, she is cake-eating; she has this relationship with you and is trying to hang onto the OM (who, let's be honest, she'd drop you for in a minute if he came back into the picture).

I am just lost right now. DBing in the form of GAL is the only thing i know i can do. All these tactics and are driving me nuts.

She doesn't sleep well or eat well and she things that once the divorce is final that it will all go away. I will give her the divorce but i dont' want to give up on her either.

Then the best way to show her that life will not be better after the D is to give her a preview -- tell her to have fun with her OM and go dark to her.

At some point (either when she is talking to you about the kid, or just out of the blue) she may say "I want to talk about us."