Say you go 5 weeks no contact to get 50 years of marriage thats what ??? 2595 weeks of marriage left Say you go 5 months no contact to get 50 years of marriage thats what ??? 2575 weeks of marriage left
How about 2 years? 2496 weeks
This is the battle you are preparing for.
Space to plan and space to heal.
No matter what you do right now, its wrong in her eyes. So remove yourself from that picture. Remove yourself from that plan of the WAS. She can opt for plan C. Alone. You carry on with plan A and thats being the best 2OC there is.
1 week is tough. I was an emotional wreck until one night I had to hear her have a conversation with OM. My wife saying another mans name with need in her voice. Oh and that took a few weeks of Plan A's and bitting my tongue. But that was the final straw. I got up and told her to be gone in two days. She came upstairs and said she was sorry. That she was not thinking. I replied. You have not been thinking for the last 2 months. You are gone in 2 days. Take what ever stuff you can fit in your car. The rest will be placed in garbage bags for you to pick up. And I did it. Next day I removed every single picture of us. Took all her stuff and tossed it in a room. I even sorted through the cd's and dvd's and books. Moved them all. I also passworded protected the family computer. She was not getting one single reminder of her life the last 13 years. No pictures , no movies nothing. Only the ones on the wall. I put them in a garbage bag and placed them in the room in her hope chest. All birthday cards etc... I tossed in the recycle bin. I purged.
It felt great.
That night I looked at her with tears in my eyes and said. Goodbye WAS.
Then that morning when she left. she walked up to me and said.
Goodbye Cutter.
As she knows I only say those words when I mean it.
And you know what.
Its 2 months later.
I survived. I am in the best shape I have been in the last 15 years. I feel like a 25 year old. I have really worked on myself and taught myself personal goals. I have great friends and family. I have kept it dark as I can be. I do not initiate conversation. I take care of myself. I keep in contact with her immediate family. I keep in contact with our common friends. I need only myself to live my life. Well that and an extra blanket. Weight loss and Novemember make for some cold nights.
If I had not done this. I would have hated my wife. I would have become completely bitter towards her. Instead. I have a little bit hidden away that I hold on to. That way. If the divorce is busted. And I decide that I want to start a new relationship with her. I have something to build on.
If she had stayed here and continued on with her abuse there would have been nothing to build on. It would have been hate and bitterness and tossing away 10 years of marriage ( good and bad ) and 3 good years of dating.
They will come at you over and over. You will see. They will continue to break you and push to keep you in the eye of the storm. They need justification for their actions. Believe me. And they will spout this to anyone who listens. You are worse than mud. You are the ex husband who has no spine. Or are you?
