You got lots to work on - read opportunities.


Quote:
As of June of this year we were slowly working towards reconciliation with Halloween being the date he promised to be home. Well he did not come home and the day after Halloween (after I again used the kids against him, restricting him from Halloween until he made a decision) he said his answer was divorce.


Did you badger him into that deadline?
Let him know how that made you feel, him not following thru. "When you promised to be home by Halloween and did not follow thru it made me feel _______________."

Read up on baoundaries and validating.

Quote:
The Physical Touch I cannot do, as he will not allow right now, because he does not want to lead me on in any way.


But you can lead him on.

Quote:
he has stated that he needs more than anything some time to NOT have to think about us. He says he does not see how he can break the wall down he built up


Ask him, "How can I help you with that?" Listen, validate and follow thru.

Quote:
he cannot see forgiveness.


model forgiveness and mercy to him. point it out when you see an example of it.
Where is his father? Bet he never was one to show compassion.


Quote:
He cannot "just force something and feel something that is not there and he doesn't know if it ever will be."



Validate. "I can understand/see how you could feel that way."

start running again - get your mileage up then find a marathon and start training (HalHigdon.com)


Quote:
I need help with how to deal with kids and visitation


Let him know you think it is important that he and your children have a strong and healthy relationship. You want to come up with a plan where the kids and him spend more time together. Ask for his thoughts.

Be FUN around him, make yourself irresistable to him, be a great Mom, build him up with WOA.

Goals -
180s
GAL activities-
act as if-


If you are here you have to lead. You can handle it.

Cheers
Coach

M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.