Short update...we're trudging along. He's improved a lot...but his initial reactions to everything are always the "old way." And after long talks he sees what he's doing and we come back around to a more caring rational way. On a few occasions he stops himself first and realizes he's doing the negative behaviors and apologizes. On a few other occasions, I've asked him to use a different tone of voice with me, and he has given me the silent treatment instead.
All in all, I have to admit that I am tired of it. There is still not much relaxing and enjoying life, there is mostly just being prepared to manage behavior. Of course there is always something going on to add stress. My son broke his knee playing sports...my dad is having surgery for a newly discovered cancer...etc etc. I find I have to make a conscious effort to do positive things for myself or it is very easy to slide toward depression.
Good: H was able to offer sincere comfort over the sitch with my dad..
Bad: He has to nag my son endlessly about worrying about him eating too much or gaining weight while he's on crutches. S10 is having trouble with schoolwork though he is trying hard, and we argue quite a bit about how to handle it. He of course believes that the only way to handle it is to tell him what he's doing wrong over and over and over and over...because he says that's the only way people learn anything. And to discipline him when he forgets something. Needless to say I don't agree with that. I said that's the way to make someone a nervous wreck. (Like he is)
Anyway, I keep trying. And things are better. It's just very tiring.
