Moonlocks, I can understand you being angry and frustrated. Have you considered getting a therapist of your own to help you work through your feelings? It's hard to cope when you're feeling so lonely.
Also consider googling and reading about "emotional incest." This relationship your husband had with his mother seems to be a major part of his dysfunction as an adult.
Meanwhile, begin to think of ways to start self-care and self-nurture. All the focus has been on your H and his issues. Please try to think of some ways you can be good to yourself and do things for you. I find in my own situation that getting involved in more things for myself has helped me as much as any type of therapy.
