Need This To Work.

[mscanlon]

@Coach: I have begged and pleaded for a reconciliation - he agreed to it at the end of Sept - then reneged. I am sure it was due to my lack of patience with his timeline.

I think with the money spending problem - it was originally something I did when my first child was born, I was no longer the most important thing to my husband, etc. Then with my second child, I had MAJOR PPD - and that was how I coped. Through all of it, my H was not around a lot - I was raising kids alone. I spent money, he worked side jobs on top of his regular job - keeping him away more, it became a vicious cycle. He ended up leaving - because of the money and his complete lack of trust for me with money issues. The separation devastated me - and I spent money to cope, instead of proving I could turn it around. We have gone through this cycle for several years now - until I FINALLY have turned it around about 10 months ago. Through it all - he never filed, he was always a friend - but would go no further. He thinks I am a good person, but has no trust for me. His reasons always come back to me hurting the family for so long.

He has lived with his mom for almost four years. He deposits most of his paychecks into our joint account so the kids and I can afford to live in a 3BR condo.

I was so excited about the chance to reconcile and feel I ruined it. He is still very cordial. He said he wants legal separation now, but still has done nothing. We could seriously go get a divorce in the state of Virginia tomorrow - as we have not lived together in four years - but he doesn't, and now says we should wait another year - because he did promise reconciliation... but he never did it, so it wouldn't matter. I feel he truly in his heart does not want to divorce - I have to make this work this time.