Since it's been brought up many times here I figure I'd just throw it out. When the WAS says to go ahead and find someone that will make the LBS happy, do they really mean it?
It means they want to find out how good a DB'er you really are, and they are sick of being stuck in this holding pattern you keep them in.
In that, unless they are emotionally dead to you, which means you are in love with a memory and addicted to a lost cause, they will feel loss, and jealousy and a desire to win you back as soon as they feel someone else is the object of your attention and that they may have lost you forever. Prehaps, you know the feeling?
Do you know what the OP really represents? A challenge, a chase, something that appears obtainable but may never truely be gotten and can be so easily lost. A need to attract, and pursue, and fantasize about. At the present you may offer none of that. Your spouse has told you what they want. They want a challenge from you. They want to feel the same emotions again that they felt when the two of you first met. That 'captivation' of their thoughts that you produced before you were caught; the same emotions they feel from somebody else either over the Internet, (the written word is powerful. Shakespeare was no dummy), or at work (that closeness but not actually being able to be close), the emotions they feel chasing, and flirting with, and learning about someone. The rush of those endorphins produces an incredible high.
Maybe you were never very good at reading or understanding what your wife was telling you. Maybe you will never be very good at texas holdem. They told you exactly what they want wearing their best poker face. They want to chase, be challenged, be interested in something new and different. A different you, one that may care less and reeks of seductive behavior. Realize however, they will not bluff you forever and soon being stuck in a relationship where needs and desires are not met one becomes exhausted if not disgusted and will give up.
Competition. You hear so often here to 'outshine' the other man. Have you ever observed the female prespective of this? If not, Happy Friday, go out to a hopping bar tonight you will understand.
Tell me you cant do that. Your vows are too important to you. But on the path you are taking now your wife may be giving those same vows to someone else a couple years down the road. What are vows worth then? About the cost of a couple bottles of hand lotion? Call it High Schoolish. Well have you ever taught about this from your spouses point of view? Probably not. It may just be those high school age emotions of puppy love and discovery that they are looking for. That you forgot how to invoke a long long time ago.
Think about it. Think about what your spouse is telling you and listen and understand for a change. They dont love you because they signed a piece of paper; they love you because of how you make them feel about themselves. They are missing something that they get from their interactions with someone else, chase, competition, challenge. They just told you Venusian.
