She and the boys have to stay somewhere - preferably at home, but at least they are safe and any goings on would be flagged by the brother to the rest of the family. The brother also wants him out and his house back to himself.
Even your BIL wants them gone and your wife home.
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But instead of making giant demands that will not be reached and will only incite anger and seperate us more
Boundaries aren't demands. Demands are when you tell her what to do. She has a choice in how she acts in a boundary and you have a choice in how she treats you and your family. Plus you are making a huge assumption about seperating you more, do you really think we would give you advice that would worsen things???
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Her main complaint is that I did not Listen to her, Offer her support and understand what she is talking about and spend time with me.
Are you listening to her know?
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She said that she does not want to stay at her Brothers. She says she wants to be at home, but that it still stings. She said she wants to communicate fully with me.
Are you communicating fully? You are waiting "until the lock is oiled." How's that working?
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but she is asking for support - not 'manly' guideance.
And your aren't giving her either! Support - I will get you back home, I will see to it you get back and forth to class and have time to study, I will not share you in my marriage - you matter that much to me, I want you. I will do whatever it takes.
She wants you to take a stand for her. Handle it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
