Treese, You cannot "assume" that he's using the ATM close to where the ow lives to stick the knife in and turn it against you. He may be going to an ATM that is convenient for him at that time and most likely hasn't given any thought to what his actions are doing to you. They do not think.
I think it's a wonderful idea that you are hosting Thanksgiving this year. New traditions and yes, doing something totally different. Don't worry about everyone having someone w/them....you have them all right there on your side. I know you can do this...you just have to convince yourself and drop the rope a bit...you are still holding on to it far too tightly.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
