My story begins with a twist...

[TrentC]

Wow. Good for you. I'm very happy for you! You seem to be doing quite well, look how far you have come. Make sure you don't jump the gun too soon. Like you always tell me...be patient.

Don't worry, I have no intention of letting you lob 2x4s at me.

Robx's excellent post has reminded me that "slow is fast and fast is slow" when it comes to DB'ing.

[Lll54]

Huh? I don't get it...elaborate please.

[TrentC]

Huh? I don't get it...elaborate please.

What? You mean you missed robx's awesome post?

Here's a sample:

Give yourself the time to find those answers to those questions, give yourself time to improve yourself for you first and then your children, don't change for your spouse - that is definitely the wrong thing to do, remember the "BS-meter" that I mentioned previously. Give yourself time to heal from your pain, admit to yourself that if your spouse has hurt you, they may not be able to do anything to rectify that with you, you in the end have the ability to forgive them for what they may have done, that is within your control and that is your choice. Allow them the same courtesy, to heal within their own amount of time, allow them the choice of forgiving you and realize that no one owes you anything.

If you pray to GOD (and if you don't maybe you should but then again, that is YOUR choice), pray for CLARITY so that you have a clear mind that your vision is restored so that you can see clearly enough to know what you want and know what you have to do. Pray for the CONFIDENCE to take action on the choices you make and pray for WISDOM to choose wisely.

Stop praying for a quick fix to your problems, it doesn't exist.
There is no QUICK SOLUTION.

[kara]

Just shouting out Trent C and want to say Thank You for all the great work you are doing helping people on this board.

[TrentC]

Just shouting out Trent C and want to say Thank You for all the great work you are doing helping people on this board.

Thanks for the kind words.

As I've said elsewhere, I don't necessarily practice this as well as I preach. But I know we all need encouraging words from people who are in the same place -- we want to try to reclaim our relationships with spouses who think they want to leave us.

[Lucky11too]

I second what others have said above. You really are good about helping other people with advice. Thanks for sharing your gift!
Don't forget to update you're own post as well. We want to be here for you too!

[TrentC]

There's not much to tell right now.

She's still recovering from her surgery and should be back to work next week. I'm waiting until our schedule gets back to normal before I consider bringing up MC.

Emotionally, we're in the same place. She has a hard time with intimacy right now; the kissing thing is kinda hit-or-miss.

Like I said elsewhere; I have a pair of very good friends who help me when I need to vent emotionally. I'm having a hard time with patience, and they keep reminding me that even though it's been a little over two months for me, she's been at this for a lot longer. It's going to take time to rebuild that trust and intimacy.

[Super Girl]

Let me add my thanks to Trent and all of his help. Your words have meant the world to me.

[TrentC]

Let me add my thanks to Trent and all of his help. Your words have meant the world to me.

I appreciate the kind words.

If anyone ends up having a better life in the end because of some advice I've given them, that would be the biggest compliment of all.

I'm not really any kind of guru at this, and people would probably roll their eyes at some of the stupid stuff I've done, even of late.

[mscanlon]

Like I said elsewhere; I have a pair of very good friends who help me when I need to vent emotionally. I'm having a hard time with patience, and they keep reminding me that even though it's been a little over two months for me, she's been at this for a lot longer. It's going to take time to rebuild that trust and intimacy.

Patience is the key!!! It is so hard though. Wishing you lots of luck with it!