I received a letter from my attorney in the mail today. It was informing me that a pretrial hearing date has been set for Dec 11. Also requesting an appt to meet with me before then to make sure everything is in order. It doesn't look like H will be out of the fog by then. The skank must be happy with it being right before Christmas too.
I have been trying to keep a smile on my face tonight, and trying not to let my sadness show.
He has been spending time with me tonight in the livingroom watching TV and being talkative. He even got on the floor and played with the dog. Hugging him etc. All the while his cell has been ringing. Has to be her sending him texts. And he answers them back. I don't say anything, because I'm not 100% sure who it is. At this point I'm just assuming. I made some cookies yesterday, and he keeps telling me how good they are.
If he is being nice to me so I'll go easy on him with D, he might as well give it up. If we go through with the D, I'm going to make sure I get all that I'm entitled to and more. I will not be nice after all I've had to go through. But, I will do it with dignity and grace.
I still can't believe this is really happening. We had a good marriage, and had lots of fun times before MLC entered in.
The JOY of the LORD will continue to be my STRENGTH. HE is with me, and I will remember that. I am praying first for H that GOD can touch him and turn his life around. And then for our M to be renewed on GODS solid foundation. Then I am praying for someone to come into ow life that would be right for her. I admit, that one is hard.
((((MJ)))) I know it must be hard. I know it must seem hopeless with D stuff moving along. None of this is easy and not what you would have chosen. You believe God is in control and He has your best at heart. That may be with your H or maybe not. Who knows. But you have to believe that. And remember, a D doesn't necessarily mean it is over. I have heard enough stories of restored marriages after a D.
And I definitely think you should go after all you are entitled to!
I'm doing good. I'm also trying really hard to detach from him and the way he's chosen to live his life. STOP the rollercoaster, I'm getting off.
I received a statement from my attorney the other day. I was charged $175.00 for him stopping by her office. He had given her a copy of the hearing request he filed with the courts, and he talked with her for a short time. I keep from calling her with questions because it costs me everytime I do. In the meantime he stops by, and I get charged for what he did. Grrr... I was so mad! He still doesn't have an attorney. He'll just use mine, and I'll get charged! He's figured it all out! At this rate I will not have any money left from my retainer to bring this to court.
I am detaching! I no longer will be buying him his goodies when I go to the store. With the kindness I've shown him through this, he's just gotten worse. I will not be mean, I will not be cold. He came home late the other night, and I decided to turn all the lights off before I went to bed. He doesn't deserve it. I look at him differently now. He has ruined my love for him. I can't take anymore of his cold cold heart.
Sometimes you have to rant. :)Better here than at him!
Definitely keep detaching. Don't do him any special favors. Their bad behavior does make it easier to detach I think - these is not the Hs we know and love.
Do you think skank is pushing for the D now? I don't know anything about D laws and I know they vary from place to place, but can't you have him pay at least some of the court costs in the settlement? I have no idea.
I am requesting that he pay for all my attorney fees. After all, this is "his" D.
He fired back in his paperwork that he wasn't going to. The excuse that he gave was that he wanted to go to MC and I wasn't willing. He went to MC on his own as part of his plan to deceive me. He had already been with ow for several months. When he told me he had an appt with family C I thought it was for him and his son who didn't have much contact with each other. That's how taken aback I was. He even let it slip once that he told C on that visit that he wanted D. He said C asked him why he was there then. It was all part of his plan to make him look good. Probably with help from ow, as she has been M and D three times.
I am requesting that he pay for all my attorney fees. After all, this is "his" D.
He fired back in his paperwork that he wasn't going to. The excuse that he gave was that he wanted to go to MC and I wasn't willing. He went to MC on his own as part of his plan to deceive me. He had already been with ow for several months. When he told me he had an appt with family C I thought it was for him and his son who didn't have much contact with each other. That's how taken aback I was. He even let it slip once that he told C on that visit that he wanted D. He said C asked him why he was there then. It was all part of his plan to make him look good. Probably with help from ow, as she has been M and D three times.
MJ
Tell your attorney this, they can subpoena the C's notes and have them be a witness if they think it has merit.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
It was all part of his plan to make him look good. Probably with help from ow, as she has been M and D three times.
The OW has been married three times already?
Well, that bodes well for the future of that relationship. (Odds are, the D's were all her ex-husbands' fault, too...)
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
At this rate I will not have any money left from my retainer to bring this to court.