Living, Loving, & Learning one day at a time

[Treese]

Snodderly....I think maybe you're right....I'm trying so hard to get him out of my head instead of grieving like I should be..
I know I am stronger if only just a little...I keep telling myself it will all get better in time...
I am crying less...that's good but when I do cry it's harder..does that make sense..and more intense.
Like today....my H and I still have a joint checking account that bills are paid out of and every time I look at the statement H has used his debit card somewhere close to OW's home..it's a different city (45 mins from us)....he knows he's doing it...I think he actually does it on purpose because he knows it gets to me...it hurts...but I don't say anything...I just get tears in my eyes because it's a constant reminder...he doesnt have to go to places there but he does...insert knife and twist....
I know you are all right and your advice is great...that's why I come here most of the time before I let anything slip out onto him...I try to tell myself it doesnt matter, but it does...the holidays are coming and I'm having my family over for Thanksgiving...1st time since all this happened...I just haven't been able to be around all the family stuff...everyone has a partner....but I'm biting the bullett and showing everyone I can do this...alone if I have to...I'm gonna prove it to myself...