Of course the ultimate aim/boundary is for there to be zero contact with the OM.
But where could be safer for my kids to stay than at her brothers? She and the boys have to stay somewhere - preferably at home, but at least they are safe and any goings on would be flagged by the brother to the rest of the family. The brother also wants him out and his house back to himself.
But instead of making giant demands that will not be reached and will only incite anger and seperate us more, I aim to take bite size chunks and swallow each one and not choke on them.
The WAW is following a dream in attending her Degree course - he is also a student there. Are you suggesting I demand that she throws a dream away - how would I be offering her any support?
Her main complaint is that I did not Listen to her, Offer her support and understand what she is talking about and spend time with me. If I do not do the above I am only reinforcing the reasons for her to leave me and to stay away.
Only by showing I can do the things she feels are missing will allow her to return and truely work on our M. I agree that she wants to connect to me. I do not agree that driving a massive 'IF' statement or condition as a condition of our connecting would help.
I respect your comments and thoughts.
The wishy-washy phrase hit home, but she is asking for support - not 'manly' guideance.
And you are right - I do hold the key - I just need to oil the lock first.
Regards, Gyn.
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
