She expects you to have a tough time dealing with this since she is already in the process of moving on.
Nobody says to rush into a new serious relationship.
Now is the time for you get your poker face on.
What are the sleeping arrangements currently?
Do not leave the master bedroom and if you have, move back in and claim your bed. It's ok, you're allowed.
You shouldn't be sleeping together in the same bed anymore, if you have been you have tell her that it isn't right, you won't be comfortable and technically how comfortable could you be sleeping next to someone who has cheated on you & had an affair?
Ask her to move into another room or sleep on the couch.
Also, "OPEN" marriage, did you bring this up or did she? If she brought it up, did you agree to this?
You can't agree to an open marriage, you can agree to start moving on. You should also ask her when she plans to move out and offer to help her pack.
Quote:
I did impart some wisdom to her about how the grass is not always greener on the other side and we are responsible for our own happiness as an individual. I told her we both fell short in this area, and told her that if we don't love ourselves then how could we love anyone else. I did mentioned that I this wouldn't have been the route I would have chosen, but that just how I believe.
Why did you bother mentioning anything about this? The idea was to keep it short, not to have a discussion, this was your decision. Talking like this shows you care and that you're still emotionally involved on your end. Hello, what happened to the WAS mentality?
As for the part about not getting lawyers involved, are you trying to make it easy on her or you?
Finances? Hello?
Get a new chequing account at another bank, have your paycheques deposited there or just get a new account at the same bank but make sure only you have access.
Speak to her and tell her that you were talking to a friend and that he thought you should get a lawyer and draft up a separation agreement and that you won't be sharing a joint bank account anymore. You should also divy up the credit cards. You don't want to accumulate her debt - let me tell you something about the WAS, they tend to get very spendy, years of resentment breeds entitlement and usually at your expense, don't get in the situation of having to pay for her debt because she will expect it, especially if you've been a "nice" guy up to this point.
You also can stop telling her where you're going from now on. You should also get in the habit of going out more in the evenings when you can and stay out later too. It's friday night, you should get dressed up as if you're going out on a date (but don't say that you're going out on a date), get some new clothes, shoes, get the hair styled, put on the cologne, shave, shower, the whole bit - make it a production.
You have to show that you're moving on and part of that means seeing other people and leaving her behind.
At first she may only notice it but trust me, you do this enough and the idea will be clear to her and she won't like it.
Remember you are her 2nd option, think about it, no talk of divorce plans yet by her, no talk of lawyers yet by her, open marriage, she doesn't even have plans to move out yet?
Think about it this way, if things don't work out with her and her boyfriend(s), she will enjoy having you as the backup plan since you're such a "nice" guy and you've always been there.
