Can I save my marriage?

[Coach]

Cutter my fav on patience:

"Patience is the companion of wisdom." - St Augustine

[TrentC]

I put up a post here with some sermons from my church. I'm not sure what your beliefs are, but you might find them interesting to listen to; especially "Love Lets It Go" and "Love Is Not Easily Angered".

Of course, there is always the serenity prayer; I'm looking at a copy of it right now, taped to my monitor.

[Lll54]

You guys all seem to be in such a better place than me. I hear what you all say. And believe me, I wake up every morning trying to battle all my wrongs. I read on here and see so many of you saying the right things, giving me advice and its all true and meaningful to me. I have such a battle with patience, I have such a battle with expectations. Its a battle I see myself fighting for a while. I am stronger in that I'm finding it easier to be alone, I'm much stronger in that i don't cry everyday anymore. But I am just having a hard time finding the strength to be patient. I know it will come, it may be too late. But I'm trying. The hardest part is that I may not only be annoying all of you, and my sister and my best friend. But I'm annoying myself. My head hurts every minute of everyday. Its a battle going on inside me that I can't seem to win. My mind is full of over analyzing, over thinking, over expecting, over hoping, over wishing. I've got to find some way to get over this if its the last thing I do. Sometimes I compare it to a regular breakup. Which is so much easier cause you don't have to see them anymore, and know what they are doing on a daily basis. I hate having to see him 3 times a week and I know what he is doing every single day! Tonight he is going to a big work function and I will be home with the boys. Nothing aggravates me more than that. But tonight, I'm not going to think about what he is doing, I'm just going to have a good night with my boys.

I'm sorry to whoever I have annoyed. I feel ya! Ha Ha. I need to start this over and I'm going to start today. So much for not crying everyday...hehe...Have a good day everyone.

[mscanlon]

I am trying to learn patience now. Had I had it weeks ago, I probably would not be here. Good luck to you.

[TrentC]

I have such a battle with patience, I have such a battle with expectations. Its a battle I see myself fighting for a while. I am stronger in that I'm finding it easier to be alone, I'm much stronger in that i don't cry everyday anymore. But I am just having a hard time finding the strength to be patient. I know it will come, it may be too late. But I'm trying.

You might look into finding an IC for yourself; an IC can help you learn coping techniques.

If you're still on your husband's health plan, they may cover those services.

My head hurts every minute of everyday. Its a battle going on inside me that I can't seem to win. My mind is full of over analyzing, over thinking, over expecting, over hoping, over wishing. I've got to find some way to get over this if its the last thing I do.

After about a week or two of that, I went to see my doctor and told them what was going on. She got me a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication that has helped a lot.

You might look into doing the same.

[Coach]

I've got to find some way to get over this if its the last thing I do.

Read up on co-dependence.


"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Ghandi

[TrentC]

Read up on co-dependence.

Ding, ding, ding!

This is partly why I suggested going to an IC if you weren't already.

If you do have an IC but they don't seem to be helping? Look for another one. Not all ICs are the same, and you need to have a good relationship in order for the counseling to work.

If you want to learn a little more online, try starting here:

http://www.codependents.org/
http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/codependency.htm

[Lll54]

Thanks everybody. I am going to a counselor. He is a chaplain and deals with individual and marital. So far its not really helping just because I dwell so much on my H and our problems. He tries to work on me but I always revert the session back to my marriage. I think I may always do this until I know that this marriage is over for sure. Only time will tell. And only patience will get me through time. Thanks again.

[Coach]

So far its not really helping just because I dwell so much on my H and our problems. He tries to work on me but I always revert the session back to my marriage.

Hey, is this thing on??????


read up on co-dependence.

Cheers
Coach

[TrentC]

What Coach

So far its not really helping just because I dwell so much on my H and our problems. He tries to work on me but I always revert the session back to my marriage.

Hey, is this thing on??????


read up on co-dependence.

Cheers
Coach

What Coach said!

If your chaplain isn't able to keep you on track, you might look into seeing another IC as I suggested. If he can't keep you focused on you, then he's not helping.