I Am Done

[SueS]

Barb & Lotus-

Thank you. It's always a nice feeling when you get a quick response when you're venting and feeling low.

I look at my little angel and think of how many times she's had to comfort me when I'm hurting because of all of this and it makes me angry that a little 4-5 year old felt like she had to do that for her mommy. I know that we're strong and close and that we'll stay that way. I want her to have a close, strong relationship with her Dad. I really do. However, I know that she has other strong, supportive men (grandpa, uncles...) in her life that will gladly step up and be there for her if she needs them. I know it's not a replacement but they are there.

I know that I can't save him. For many years I've tried. Maybe after this he'll see, maybe he won't. Maybe he'll find a person that can make him see. I always thought I could be that one. I can't. I know that now and it doesn't bother me.

Barb, your comment about your ex being 56 and still immature sounds familiar. Mine is 42. I've often wondered when the change would come. I look at his brother (older) and some of his cousins and I realize that it might not come for a long time, if ever. I look at my Dad too. I love him very much, but he was an alcoholic for years. He didn't stop drinking and step up to the plate for my mom until about 9 years ago.....he's over 70 now. My mom put up with it for years. I always thought, if she can, I can. I just can't anymore.

I am confident about life going on. I can forsee having hard times, low times. But, I can also forsee getting back in touch with friends I haven't seen in a long time, meeting someone new.

I know I can do this.

SueS