Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[confusedinpa]

Hey brother

I haven't posted in a while, but I've been following along. Sounds like you are getting your groove back.

I hear ya about feeling too detached. I actually got that similar feeling a month ago where I started feeling like I gave up as well. It's scary. Then again, to be frank, I'm not sure what I would do if she gave any indication of stopping the D train.

One comment I do have is relative to several post back, in my custody agreement, I do have the right of first refusal in there where if I will not be with the kids on one of my nights, I will ask her first. It is expected that this will be reciprocated. Of course I never give up any of my nites. She, on the other hand, had asked me several times. I can guess at what she is doing, but frankly, I don't care. I look at it as a blessing that I have more time with my boys.

So it's not about her controlling your time with your children, it's about giving the children to spend as much time as possible with each parent. Just my 2 cents.

Take care brother. It's a crappy situation but I know we need to be good with it all in order for our kids to have a chance at being good with it all

[MrBond]

Well nothing new to report here. Just doing my thing and actually pretty busy.

Since it's been brought up many times here I figure I'd just throw it out. When the WAS says to go ahead and find someone that will make the LBS happy, do they really mean it?

[aliveandkicking]

When the WAS says to go ahead and find someone that will make the LBS happy, do they really mean it?

I think not in most cases.

[K4D]

When the WAS says to go ahead and find someone that will make the LBS happy, do they really mean it?

I think not in most cases.

Mine did.

Kevin

[aliveandkicking]

Kevin, sometimes the WAW doesn't know she didn't mean it until it is happening and as far as I know, you haven't hooked up with anyone.

Actually, probably applies to WASs in general.

[ClingingToHope]

My W back in February said she was done, she felt nothing for me and that isn't fair to me and I should be able to go out and find someone who does.

Then she admitted it will hurt "if" I find someone who better fits my needs.

Five weeks ago, I complained about being in limboland. She said I didn't have to be, I'm free to find anyone. She's not wearing her ring.

Actually, I haven't either since I moved out.

I think she believes that she doesn't care and actually wants me to move on. But "if," which is applicable here because I tend to go back and forth on this, I find someone else I think her resolve will break a bit.

Perhaps it's wishful thinking but I've been told many times that women desire things they can't have or at least will have to work at getting back.

Key those is at least being able to make that decision. I told a friend in Chicago that I'm closing no doors. If someone else walks through that door I'm not totally closing myself off to the opportunity. I don't know if I'd actually pursue, especially since no D papers have been filed, but it's a moot point until that actually happens.

[MrBond]

Thanks Everyone for your responses.

aliveandkicking, it's great to see that you are alive and kicking!

How are things?

I remember you telling me once that you had no desire for your H until you found out he had OW. Here's hoping that it's my case too.

[aliveandkicking]

Well Stuck, I had lost desire for him. And it was not him being with OW that turned me on. It was the separation and me not feeling the weight and burden of his misery upon me. I at least felt like I was f*cking a grown up.

The OW thing hurt and still is the most compelling factor in my inclination to file. Him having sex is one thing but a GF? When all along he was throwing me breadcrumbs? Devastating.

My sitch is different of course but it is important to do what is right for you and not try to manipulate her. You can't know how it will be interpreted.

[aliveandkicking]

How are things?

Better and worse. This is just a challenging time. I find writing about it on here, at this point, spins me out more.

[MrBond]

AAK,

Sorry to hear that. My prayers go out to you and your kids. I know how hard it was dealing with your H acting like a kid and your financial sitch.

Post here whenever you even just want to vent.

{{{stuck}}}