I never thought I would be here

[2overcome]

Well, the talk didn't go down quite as I pictured it and we ended up talking over the phone. She knew something was up and asked what was going on. I told her we would talk about it when we get home. She wanted to talk then, so I told her what I was thinking about based on suggestions by rob and PDT. She said she was confused because I seemed fine about all this divorce stuff and why today it had changed. I told her then we would talk about this whole divorce situation when I get home because apparently some things weren't to clear at this point. Got home and talked, I didn't talk about the R, didn't say "I love you's" or anything, no begging or pleading. So the status is now we are seperated but living in the same house. We are not getting attornies involved or anything. We laid everything on the table, I told her that I will be better off, but in the sense that I will become a better person from this. I did impart some wisdom to her about how the grass is not always greener on the other side and we are responsible for our own happiness as an individual. I told her we both fell short in this area, and told her that if we don't love ourselves then how could we love anyone else. I did mentioned that I this wouldn't have been the route I would have chosen, but that just how I believe. I left it at that. I stayed calm the whole time, no crying, nothing... We remained civil during the whole conversation. I do however feel more empowered now. I know the pain is still there, but I know that now I that I can detach and move on with my life. And that is what I am doing. I am going to GAL. I am going to save myself and not my marriage. But with that thought and having that mindset, I may just save my marriage. I am going out tonight to watch some bands play, and I am focused on having a good time tonight. May even get some girls numbers just to boost up the esteem a little - (may not call mind you, maybe I will - who knows but that is my decision). My priorities now are to work on myself, GAL, have fun, pursue my dream of music and even maybe start a band. So that is where I am everyone.