Do the actions make the person? I suppose, John, I agree with you, we could debate this all day.
People are generally fallible. Yes, we all make mistakes. No, we are not perfect. But when a person deliberately sets out to have an affair and destroy a marriage, does that make them a bad person? Probably. Now, this does not mean they are a bad person forever. I mean, although the cases are rare, humans have this wonderful thing called change. We can adapt. However, the more I read, the more I find that humans are generally afraid of change.
I have never badmouthed stbx to my children, although he is not their father. As a matter of fact, I don't even really talk about him except for here and to a few select people in RL. I still love him, but I don't trust him.
That being said, I agree with John. People who are tempted by the fruit of another...good ones...will figure out what is lacking in their lives to tempt them and try to fix it instead of jumping into the fruit salad head on. When that vow was made, the spouse vowed to let no man or woman step into the marriage.
Yes, the action is bad. I think the person who commits the action is bad. Doesn't mean that at some point they can't try to make amends, and that is where, for me at least, the turning point is.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
