Thanks girls, thankyou! Its hard, but usually its great. It still goes in waves, except now they are far apart and more like a ripple. He was so good last night at the fireworks. He held me tightly and kissed me alot, said he was excited to be there and happier than last year.. because he was with ME this year.
I agreed with something Kalni said. My bf is a good man, loyal, family orientated, good with money, never been a womaniser or flirted or eyed up a woman in front of me, lots of integrity. His behaviour was not 'normal', VERY out of character which is why all our friends and family never stopped rooting for us.
When we talk now, its only for 2 minutes, he doesnt want to talk anymore. I agree he went through hell and had a breakdown. But I've been SOOO supportive and forgiving and let so much go, just occasionally..I feel like "what about me??" What about talking about things I want to talk about? He said last night I should, of course express whatever I want to feel to him, but it STILL makes him feel so bad and awful for how he treated me. So 6 months on he is still dealing with guilt over it. One thing I never got to the bottom of, was his interest in her before he left me. Like K, that bothers me most. He said this week, the secret calls on his mobile Sept-Oct 07 were "oh probably just because she called to see how my wrist was". But thats a lie, because it was him calling her on the call log. But yep, another thing to just consign to the past.
Its probably just because HE has let go, moved on, more than a lie. We did get our honeymoon period, he never had any further contact with her, she is zero threat and I am the one that gets to have birthdays, bonfire night, christmas etc (thats another big first, he was away skiing with her last Christmas Day!) and also, like Jack says.. our R is better now than it was before and I am truly grateful that he left me.
So in answer to your question Saffie.. yes...this morning, he made us tea, let the cat in, got back into bed, pullied me to him, arms circling me, head on his shoulder, the cat jumped on top of us purring.. and thats it right there. THAT makes it all worthwhile, a thousand fold.
